Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts

Monday

Manic Monday: Election Edition



This is Shirley Nagel, a FIRED teacher from Michigan, and a RNC delegate. Ms. Nagel makes my Manic Monday list today because, quite simply, she's a nasty excuse for a human being and paints every decent, non-judgmental, intelligent Republican (yes, they're out there) in a bad light. Coming from an ol'blue New York Democrat, this is saying quite a bit.

You see, on Halloween, Ms. Nagel decided not to give candy to children whose parents were Obama supporters, using the same tired lines that the entire mean-spirited Republican campaign has been using in this, the Rovian era (i.e., scary Muslim, unqualified socialist, and so on), which has made me, nearly every Democrat, and several moderate Republicans ashamed of the country we live in.

This post, however, is not about political or religious beliefs. This post is about the mean-spirited-ness of this woman who, of course, paints herself as a righteous Christian, in line with the Republican ideals. It's one thing to believe what you like -- far be it from me to tell you otherwise. It's one thing to educate children about the political process, and explain your reasoning in an AGE APPROPRIATE manner (a five year old kid doesn't understand about the politics of mud-slinging, folks. My five year old nephew thinks he should vote for Obama because his younger brother, my other nephew, looks like Obama. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was right. Never mind that, at 5 years old, he doesn't understand that he CAN'T vote, bless his heart...).

It's another thing entirely to deny CHILDREN -- who wield NO political influence, and probably, like my nephew, have such a small understanding of the world to begin with (he doesn't think we should vote for McCain because, like his grandfather [my father], McCain is 72 years old, "and he has to take his medicine, and when he takes his medicine, he doesn't feel very well." Do you think he, for all his intelligence, understands "privatizing Social Security" or "no pull-out timetable for the Iraqi war"?!) -- equal rights to HALLOWEEN CANDY (because, y'know, spreading the chocolate wealth around is SO Socialist...) because you don't agree with their parents' politics.

The sad part is, before the Republicans began catering to the racist Dixiecrats and the fringe Religious Right, it WAS known as the party of fairness and reason. If Barack Obama becomes President tomorrow, in a very real way, it is because of a Republican's efforts over 150 years ago (Lincoln) that was the first in a progressive process of civil rights and equality. Even John McCain -- for all that he sold his soul to the Lee Atawater School of Slander -- was, not so long ago, a true maverick who was unafraid to reach across the aisle to the most liberal of Senators (Feingold and Kennedy -- who both prove that Obama is quite MODERATE in his voting record) to pass truly fair and balanced legislation.

Unfortunately, for every McCain-Feingold Act, there's a Shirley Nagel. I truly hope that, whoever wins tomorrow (the writing's on the wall, but let's be elusive so the networks can get their ratings...), they will have the decency and the courage to reach across the aisle and be truly non-partisan in their rule, and render idiots like Shirley Nagel completely obsolete.

Friday

Happy Halloween From Bruce Springsteen

As a ghoulish Halloween treat to loyal fans, Bruce Springsteen is offering a free audio download and streaming peek at the video for the previously unheard track “A Night with the Jersey Devil” on his website . Both audio and video will be available on the site from 12:01am Friday, October 31 until 11:59pm Sunday, November 2. The creepy video for “A Night with the Jersey Devil” was directed by long-time Springsteen visual-collaborator Thom Zimny.

Springsteen posted the following note on brucespringsteen.net:

“Dear Friends and Fans,

If you grew up in Central or South Jersey you grew up with the ‘Jersey Devil’. Here’s a little musical Halloween treat. Have fun!

Bruce Springsteen”

Wednesday

Last Minute Halloween Costumes

What!? It's two days till Halloween and you still don't have a costume? Go to the store? Oh, you don't like crowds? Well that's hardly an excuse. But you don't want to spend $50 for a cheaply made gossamer piece of crap that you're only gonna wear once? Ok, that I can understand. But what are you gonna wear?

For all of those who have been too busy, procrastinating, can't come up with an idea or cryogenically frozen during the month of October to get a Halloween costume, you're in luck. Here are some fast and cheap ideas that are sure to get you through the 31st.

Scarecrow
Simple. Wear some ratty rural looking clothes - the rattier the better, even try to get some patches and duct tape on there. Put a few shirts in your belly to make it look more round like it's stuffed with straw. Next get some straw. You can cheaply buy it at a pumpkin patch, garden store, home depot and some grocery stores. If you're really cheap just get some off a farm - they have enough. Stuff your cuffs with the straw. It should be coming out of everything: sleeves, pants, neck. For the finishing touch tie off you legs and arms. For more inspiration find a real scarecrow and mimic it.

Headless Sports Player
This costume literally takes 30 seconds. Get a sports jersey - football and hockey jersey's work best - and put a pillow across the shoulders. Then put it on and make sure nothing comes out the neck hole. There you go you're a headless sports player. I say football and hockey jerseys work best because they have wider shoulders and are mesh so you can see through the jersey without anyone seeing you. Make your costume look better by carrying around your "head" in a helmet - if you have one.

Greek, Roman, Philosopher, Statue, Bluto
Toga!!!! Do you sleep in a bed? Then you have a sheet and thus you have a costume. Depending on what you're going for you can be any of a number of ancients. You can be a simple Greek or Roman, and top it off with some olive branches on your head. For those with large beards you can be your favorite philosopher depending on how long your beard is. If you've got some time on your hands, paint your body white and powder your hair. When you suit up in a toga you're a statue, but please no Venus - we don't want any lost limbs. As a last resort you can dress in a toga and pour mustard down the front of yourself and - Ta-da! You're Bluto from Animal House.

Gum Balls, Grapes
Do your friends say you're full of hot air? Here's a costume for you. Fill up a ton of balloons - red or green if you're gonna be grapes, and multicolor for gumballs, and then tape them to your body. And you're done. That was easy.

Play on Words
Find something easy that's a play on words. You could dress as a "Cereal Killer" by taking your favorite breakfast cereal box and driving a knife through it. Or the Second Amendment by wearing a flannel shirt and a truckers hat with big brown bush bear arms over top of yours. Get it? Right to Bear arms. Pick your favorite.

Witch

You have to buy the hat, but other then that dress in black, and find some other good stuff at the local thrift store.

Go Retro
Find your old clothes from when you were growing up (if they still fit) and wear them. Or wear the ones from a few years ago and go as a time period. Wear some ripped jeans and flannel shirt for Grunge, or flared jeans and tie die to be a hippie. The possibilities are endless.

Celebrities
This is completely overdone but never gets old. As long as there have been celebrities there will always be people dressing as them. Just make sure everyone knows who you are. It's not a costume if no one recognizes it - then you're just a freak in weird clothes.

That Guy
Do you have a weird friend? Well, dress as him. Borrow his clothes and his trademark item to make the costume complete. You're friends will laugh, but the rest of the world won't get it.

The Old Standby
Go to the thrift store and find some crazy stuff there. You're bound to find something that you can scrounge a costume out of. If you can't find a consistent costume, then just dress in a ton of stuff and be a Trick or Treater with Multiple Personalities.

Last Resort

Dress in last year's costume, borrow your friend's costume from last year, wear and old costume. Someone is bound to have something laying around. By this point if you can't find a costume, that' s just pathetic. Hopefully I've given you some good pointers so you won't go out in the "Person Who Forgot it was Halloween" costume.