Monday

Why So Classy?: The Celeb-Reality Edition

(WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK...HECK, NOT SAFE FOR LIFE!)



Well, we all knew this would be one steaming hot mess, but who knew -- WHO KNEW -- that this edition of Rock of Love w/Bret Michaels would take the cake in sleaziness? I mean, even in his prime, Bret (or BERT, as the Television Without Pity forum calls him -- sure, works for me too!) wasn't known for attracting the, uh, classiest of women. But good lord, I felt my upper lip tingle after this episode...and all I did was watch it!

That said, I'm sure I'll be tuning in every week. CURSE YOU, VH1, AND YOUR FANTASTICALLY HIDEOUS "REALITY" SHOWS!

So...onto the moment above. Nikki (the one with the two flotation devices on her chest area) was so "freakin' horny" on the first night, so she decided to do a shot. I won't say the name of the drink, or where she did the shot (hint: it has to do with the black bar across the screen...and for those of you who don't know Portuguese, PEREREICA is a slang term for a body part...and it's not referring to the pancreas).

Suffice it to say that Nikki has raised the bar of classiness to a whole new level. Expect this practice to be done at debutante balls across America -- heck, across the WORLD -- from hereinout.

Amazingly, Nikki didn't make it past the first night. I guess it's because she's too classy for Bert and his skanky groupie minions. That's okay...totally his loss.